Thursday, 14 August 2014

The power of kindness


There are so many videos these days on the internet illustrating the rewards – in terms of well-being – of helping one another in small ways.  The enduring appeal of the film It’s a Wonderful Life  is that we need to do so little to make someone else’s life happier, whether it’s encouraging them to follow their dream, supporting someone in their ill-health, or smiling at the lonely old lady in the park.

Because we see on film how little it takes, it encourages us to review our life and how we relate to others.  Mostly we don’t use the word ‘compassion’ in our daily lives.  But our desire to relieve suffering where-ever we see it, and in whatever form it impacts on us, is compassion.  Everyone we see is suffering in some way that is not known to us, and even if we do no more than resist judging them, we have helped.

Equally we need to recognise how much we are supported and encouraged by those around us, particularly those whom we take for granted – our partners and families; our neighbours; the person who doesn’t snap back when we have unwittingly expressed our inward stress; the stranger who points out that we have dropped something in the street.   Life is made up of such little kindnesses and such little heroes.  It shouldn’t take a film to point these out; but then we all need a reminder from time to time that we’re all in this together.  And that life will be sweeter if we help one another along the way.

 
A couple of recent films from the internet on this topic:


Thursday, 19 June 2014

Climate change: a short fable explores the possibilities in one small village.



TO THE POWER OF TWO

Everyone kept talking about it, so I had to go and look for myself.  It was a long time since I’d been down Longelm Shute, but as it was a glorious spring day, I decided I’d walk that way for a change.

The steep hill was cold, so overgrown with trees that it was completely dark.  The road was narrow where the bushes and brambles had crept onto the carriageway, and in the lee of the cliff there were still patches of snow and ice.  There had been only a couple of  houses down that road and they had been abandoned to the chill long ago and were in an advanced  state of decay.  I saw not a single soul, not even boys larking in the ruins; and when I listened, no birds sang.  With my heart beating rather fast, I was glad to emerge into sunlight at the bottom.  I shivered – the place seemed bewitched.

People I spoke to told the same story – everyone avoided it, the children were scared to go there.  Because it was only a quiet back way into the village at the top of the down, even traffic had stopped using it because it had become so overgrown.

The Council came and cut down some of the trees and for a short while the place seemed lighter.  But within days the road had started to fall down the hill – perhaps because the trees had been holding it up.  So they left it.  The young saplings thrived, and the tunnel down the hill was soon as dark and gloomy as ever.

I say ‘down the hill’ for I never went up it, so fearful had I become of its silent, menacing atmosphere.  But I took to striding down it regularly – a road that had become no more than 6 feet wide in places – though there was more determination than pleasure in it, especially as I never saw another person, adult or child.  But something stubborn in me refused to let the enchantment win.  Soon I noticed that where the old trees had now gone, I could see beyond the end of the tunnel to the river and beyond that, there was a patch of yellow shining in the sun.  I started to look for it every time I plunged into that pit.  The shining drew me onwards – encouraged me  – but when I went across the marsh, I could find no real explanation – a few straw bales,  a patch of yellow irises, nothing more.

One day at the top of the Shute, as I was wondering what could prevent this unholy area expanding ever further, and driving away even more of the residents, I looked closely at the very last house on the road before it dipped into the shadows.  This sensible 1950s house sat firmly on its plot, as stolid and contented as a horse asleep in the sun.  The paintwork was spotless, the garden a bright flood of flowers.  I glanced across every time I passed, it was such a brave sight before I plunged into the depths.  I saw the owner one morning and she looked up and gave me a reticent smile.   I smiled warmly back, for here was a respectable elderly woman who would have no truck with any nonsense from the creeping pestilence of the Shute.  She might have been a headteacher or a housekeeper, such was her determination  to keep things as they should be.

The next time I passed she had bunches of flowers for sale.    I bought some – goodness knows why, I had plenty at home – and as I ventured down that claustrophobically dim lane, I strewed them haphazardly, each one a brief spot of colour – yellow, gold, flame and scarlet – in that silent twilight place.  "Fighting fire with fire”, my trepdidation made a weak joke. Then another flash of red – and I hear a robin sing!                 

After that I take my own flowers to the top of the hill and sell them alongside Mrs Wright’s.  As the summer progresses, we sell vegetables too, and soon the people who drift mindlessly out of the characterless little church on the hill, wander down as silently as battery hens and buy produce; before departing cheerfully, talking happily together.

One day, to our surprise, a woman comes to the stall, emerging from the chilly gloom that is still Longelm Shute even on this glaringly hot day.  She gives us a pumpkin, as though we are a charity.  It still has its supermarket label on it, showing an American flag.  She is perfectly groomed, with her expensive hair-cut and highlights, the designer jeans, the immaculate manicure with long red nails that never did a day’s work.  Mrs Wright takes the pumpkin from her and I compare the hands – Mrs Wright's wrinkled, red and rough with years of toil, with short, no-nonsense nails.  She and I exchange a glance but thank the woman anyway.

When I go down the hill later for my daily walk, I take the pumpkin and roll it away down the slope, whence it came.  Under the bushes where it comes to rest I see that – finally – the very last patch of winter snow, which has hung on under the lee of the hill all these months, has gone.  A couple of boys flash past  me on their bikes.  Shrieking to each other as the fierce incline whizzes them down towards the river, they almost hit the postman as he wheels his bike up the steep road.

I catch his eye and smile.  “You’re only young once!”.
“Yes, I did that that when I was a nipper!”  He smiles back. “Some things don’t change”.

 

 

--o0o--

Sunday, 1 June 2014

Little acts of kindness change the world

Have just seen this charming film about little acts of kindness.  It is so in tune with the blog below that I am attaching the link below:

http://faithreel.com/watching-touching-acts-kindness-will-change-day/

The song by Matisyahu is pretty inspiring too.

Monday, 27 January 2014

What would you do to change the world?



If there was just one thing that you could do the change the world, what would it be?  You are not allowed to wave a magic wand.  It has to be something that you could do.

There was a quote on Twitter today, “It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.” (Al Franken)  It is another version of, ‘If you want to change the world first change yourself.’   We all tend to assume that change is going to come from without; that ‘they’ will change things if we moan enough.  But what is each of us doing to become one of the ‘they’ that get things altered for the better?

Deep down we’d all like the world to be carpeted so we wouldn’t have to bother with taking off our comfortable slippers.  But in reality, how much effort is involved in making, say, one small change this week and another small one next week?

Imagination – that’s what we need, to be able to see how dramatically life would change if we all changed a little.  Imagine, as a simple example, a day on the roads where everybody showed just a little more consideration for other drivers, cyclists, buses, horse riders.  Of course slowing down and giving a horse or cyclist more room won’t change the world overnight.  But it will change your mind-set.  And it’s because we’re not prepared to start with small changes that we do not change at all.

No one person by themselves can change the world, nor would it be right that they should.  We’re all in this: it’s by working together that we can change things together.  We’ve all admired individuals in the past who have achieved great things: Nelson Mandela, Bob Geldof, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, for a start.  None of these – or a thousand, thousand more – achieved what they did, alone.  But crucially they began with themselves, their determination to make change happen, regardless of any personal cost in terms of freedom, future, time, money or effort.

Goodwill, community spirit, maximising beneficial relationships – these are the seeds for growing world change.  I’ve just set up a new Twitter feed, and even with the small selection of feeds I am following, I am surprised, delighted and heartened at the amount of goodwill, kinship of spirit and fostering of right relationships that is currently out there.  All manifested by people who strove to change.

Community  is not just about your immediate neighbourhood, your social set, or even your religious community.  It’s about sharing ‘in common’ with everyone on this planet all the problems and all the solutions, all the abundance and all the deprivation.  We all have something worthwhile to share, whether it’s our time, money, prayer, action – or indeed, just the will to change.  We need to throw off those comfortable slippers, put on our working boots and start a process of change – today!

 


and www.positivenews.org.uk  is always worth reading.

Monday, 2 September 2013

Recipe for long-lasting marriages

Recently on the internet* there has been the heart-warming story of a 96 year old man who, within a month of losing his wife of 73 years, had written the lyrics of a love song to her, and entered it into a competition.  Although the song did not meet the contest’s criteria, the organisers were so touched that they wrote the song for him.

For most of us it is almost impossible to contemplate a marriage lasting that long, when so many people these days seems to marry in haste and repent at leisure.

By contrast, for the last year or more, a young woman I know has told us every week of some detail about her forthcoming wedding (due in a few weeks). She is not spending stupid amounts of money on it, thank goodness, but what grates on me is her obsession with The Day rather than with The Marriage or The Groom.  Why do brides fixate so heavily on one day in their entire lives which - in fact, according to probabilities – will be repeated later in their life, even if not with the same histrionics?

It seems that men and women approach marriage with very different intentions, understanding and mind-set.  It is not at all uncommon for a man to know almost at the outset, and often when he is really quite young (almost too immature to know his own mind, one would have thought) that this is the woman he intends to marry.  Delve into any of the super-long marriages celebrated in the local newspaper and the husband will say, “I knew immediately this was the woman I wanted to marry.”

I don’t think women go into marriage with the same frame of mind at all.  Most women are incurably romantic in the sense that they visualise the wedding ceremony, the dress, the new signature, the babies, in the aura of every man they date. It may be to a lesser degree with some boyfriends than others, but it’s there.  The potential husband – unconsciously no doubt – is seen as a means to an end.  A means to escape from an uncomfortable dwelling place, loneliness, a boring job etc.  Plus a means to fulfil a biological necessity to bear children and acquire a secure roof over their heads.  While men have the same biological drive to reproduce, marriage as a precursor is not programmed into them as it is with women.

Consequently women go into marriage with the immediate benefits taking up the whole of their vision; men go into it with a vision of the long haul.  No wonder areas of irritation such as the toilet seat being left up, worry women rather than men – that wasn’t part of the vision when they were being fitted for The Dress!

So what is the glue that holds marriage together?  Since for every man who stays married for 40, 50, 60 years, there is a wife who stayed married too.  When one thinks of the upheaval in a couple’s life when babies arrive, it is a miracle that any relationship survives beyond that point.  It speaks volumes for the husbands who, not being so bodily or psychologically involved in the baby-growing process, don’t opt out at that stage.  Women  by that time are fixated wholly on the pregnancy, the birth, the rearing etc – no wonder many husbands feel cut adrift at that point. Marginalised perhaps.  Surplus to requirements.

Which raises the question of loyalty and fidelity.  Not the same by any means.  This may be a difficult concept for many women to grasp, but while some men may be unfaithful to their wives, they remain steadfastly loyal.  Conversely, while most women remain faithful to their husbands, they aren’t always loyal.  Women, while remaining nominally faithful to their man, will think nothing of criticising him behind his back – whether it’s leaving his clothes on the floor or being ‘demanding’ too often when the wife would sooner say ‘no’.  Men – generally speaking – never criticise their wives behind their backs, and are unlikely to discuss their wives even with their close friends.  Yet women feel totally betrayed by a husband’s casual infidelity, usually without acknowledging that there may have been some missing element in their marriage that caused the husband to play away.  In the film, The Women, Meg Ryan features as a betrayed wife.  At one point she is surrounded by 3 indignant and supportive friends, one of whom has the temerity to suggest that the betrayed wife may have played a causative role in the infidelity.  The others howl their derision at such a notion, but perhaps a male scriptwriter saw his chance to give the other side of the story for once.

In a marriage lasting 40, 50 or more years, the couple must encounter every combination of circumstances that test their unity, affection, persistence and loyalty, but still they stay together.  Men are generally enormously devoted and loyal to their wives and get little credit for it.  I hope my young female acquaintance marries such a man, and appreciates him for what he truly is, rather than concentrating on his minor peccadilloes.

 

 


Love is not Time’s Fool – from Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116

Wednesday, 31 July 2013

The energy of healing



We are taking a different view of ‘nothing’ these days.  Not so many decades ago, a black hole would have been considered ‘nothing’.  Now it is a fascinating field of research for astrophysicists.  A few years back, an atom was considered to be the smallest unit of substance; now it is known  that at the heart of an atom[1]  is space – or nothing.

Is there really nothing there?  If you don’t know anything about modern electronics you would assume that electromagnetic waves were nothing, and ask, like Joanna Lumley is obliged to say in a recent ad for ‘on demand TV’, “How does all that stuff get into my computer?”  In fact when you think about it, computers function on nothing, ie on zeroes.  Apparently, to the ancient Greeks and Romans, zero did not exist; yet modern mathematics and computer science is based entirely on the presumptive existence of nought or zero.

If there is an energy in all these ‘nothings’ why is it difficult to believe in a system of medication or healing that purportedly contains ‘nothing’?  I refer of course to homeopathy and its relation, the Dr Bach remedies.  We are such avid believers of everything we read in the press or on the internet that it is only too easy to find these safe and harmless medicines branded as placebo.  Leaving aside the question of ‘Does a placebo have energy?’ – which it surely must, as any substance, pharmaceutical or otherwise can have a placebo effect – why do we assume that because there is ‘nothing’ in these remedies, that they can’t have an impact on the human psyche and therefore its outer layer, the body?  If a human body consists of atoms and sub-atomic particles, and if the heart of an atom is ‘nothing’ or energy, why is it difficult to believe that the energy in the remedies speaks to the energy  in the human atom?

We are beginning to understand more and more that energy, while it may be intangible and not measurable in many of its forms, is all that there is:  it is the cause and foundation of everything known and unknown.  We are not as stupid as Joanna Lumley’s scriptwriters would have us believe.  Sixty plus years ago we might have asked ‘how does all that get inside a computer?’, but our generation takes that sort of ‘magic’ for granted.

The next step forward for the human race must be to accept, even if we don’t fully understand, that energy rules our entire existence.  We can’t always ‘see’ it or quantify it at this stage, but it will surely happen in the future.  There is a branch of medicine now called psycho-neuro immunology – it’s where your emotions or mental reactions to aspects of your life cause ill-health.  In other words, your mental or emotional energy is adversely affected or not vibrating at an optimum level.  What we need to rectify that, is a system which addresses the resultant dis-ease, not at the physical level but at the energy level.  A system that cures bad energy with good energy. And lo, homeopathy was discovered 200+ years ago, ready for the day when we could accept that only energy can restore energy!

 
 

For more information on the Dr Bach remedies, see  www.bachcentre.com

 

 




[1] This is not an essay on physics – I understand there are smaller units such as quarks, for those who study these things. 

Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Ethical dilemmas

      

Haven’t we all watched houses being built on a flood plain and wondered at the cupidity of the developers? 

It is clearly down to greed, indifference to those who will suffer when the floods come, poor research or even the unfailing human ability to hope that the worst will never happen and everything will continue to be fine.

In our position as detached observers, we see the planning application going through – more stupidity or worse on the part of the local council, in order to fulfil its housing quota, plus any benefits that accrue to it – and then the houses being built, which of course brings work to tradesmen and solicitors (so that’s all good then); and finally we see hopeful, happy, relieved families move into their proudest possession.

Then the inevitable happens and the beautiful new homes, someone’s pride and joy, are flooded.  The developers, council, builders and peripheral artisans are not affected.  The only people adversely affected are those who in all innocence bought the house of their dreams.

But don’t we all build our lives on ‘quicksand’ at some stage, or in some aspect or another?  When I first saw the film, ‘The Devil Wears Prada’, I thought it was about the Meryl Streep character being such a poisonous witch, the eponymous devil.  But on the second viewing I realised the truth: people sell their souls to get what they want in life; or what at that point in time they think is the most desirable thing to have.  The would-be journalist in the film, played by Ann Hathaway, eventually pulled back in time, but not before she had committed terrible errors of moral judgement to achieve what she thought was desirable.

Most people probably think they do not sell out to the devil.  But greed, lust, envy and the rest of the 7 deadly sins are in fact all ethical choices we have failed to make correctly.

I had a dream the other night in which I sneered at the stupidity of a supermarket locating its store so close to the sea that the first high tide started to swamp it.  When I woke I realised this was an allegory, a message for me about an aspect of my life.  I am not interested in owning a Prada outfit or a brand new home on a flood plain, and I don’t think I’m greedy; but perhaps we all need to look at our lives sometimes and wonder if we’re really living life as ethically as we had always thought.

 *******
For further reading: “Ancient Wisdom, Modern World: Ethics for the new millennium” by the Dalai Lama.