Little acts of kindness change the world

Have just seen this charming film about little acts of kindness.  It is so in tune with the blog below that I am attaching the link below:

http://faithreel.com/watching-touching-acts-kindness-will-change-day/

The song by Matisyahu is pretty inspiring too.

What would you do to change the world?

If there was just one thing that you could do the change the world, what would it be?  You are not allowed to wave a magic wand.  It has to be something that you could do.

There was a quote on Twitter today, “It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.” (Al Franken)  It is another version of, ‘If you want to change the world first change yourself.’   We all tend to assume that change is going to come from without; that ‘they’ will change things if we moan enough.  But what is each of us doing to become one of the ‘they’ that get things altered for the better?

Deep down we’d all like the world to be carpeted so we wouldn’t have to bother with taking off our comfortable slippers.  But in reality, how much effort is involved in making, say, one small change this week and another small one next week?

Imagination – that’s what we need, to be able to see how dramatically life would change if we all changed a little.  Imagine, as a simple example, a day on the roads where everybody showed just a little more consideration for other drivers, cyclists, buses, horse riders.  Of course slowing down and giving a horse or cyclist more room won’t change the world overnight.  But it will change your mind-set.  And it’s because we’re not prepared to start with small changes that we do not change at all.

No one person by themselves can change the world, nor would it be right that they should.  We’re all in this: it’s by working together that we can change things together.  We’ve all admired individuals in the past who have achieved great things: Nelson Mandela, Bob Geldof, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, for a start.  None of these – or a thousand, thousand more – achieved what they did, alone.  But crucially they began with themselves, their determination to make change happen, regardless of any personal cost in terms of freedom, future, time, money or effort.

Goodwill, community spirit, maximising beneficial relationships – these are the seeds for growing world change.  I’ve just set up a new Twitter feed, and even with the small selection of feeds I am following, I am surprised, delighted and heartened at the amount of goodwill, kinship of spirit and fostering of right relationships that is currently out there.  All manifested by people who strove to change.

Community  is not just about your immediate neighbourhood, your social set, or even your religious community.  It’s about sharing ‘in common’ with everyone on this planet all the problems and all the solutions, all the abundance and all the deprivation.  We all have something worthwhile to share, whether it’s our time, money, prayer, action – or indeed, just the will to change.  We need to throw off those comfortable slippers, put on our working boots and start a process of change – today!

 

www.twitter.com/TakeOneVoice

and www.positivenews.org.uk  is always worth reading.

Recipe for long-lasting marriages

Recently on the internet* there has been the heart-warming story of a 96 year old man who, within a month of losing his wife of 73 years, had written the lyrics of a love song to her, and entered it into a competition.  Although the song did not meet the contest’s criteria, the organisers were so touched that they wrote the song for him.

For most of us it is almost impossible to contemplate a marriage lasting that long, when so many people these days seems to marry in haste and repent at leisure.

By contrast, for the last year or more, a young woman I know has told us every week of some detail about her forthcoming wedding (due in a few weeks). She is not spending stupid amounts of money on it, thank goodness, but what grates on me is her obsession with The Day rather than with The Marriage or The Groom.  Why do brides fixate so heavily on one day in their entire lives which - in fact, according to probabilities – will be repeated later in their life, even if not with the same histrionics?

It seems that men and women approach marriage with very different intentions, understanding and mind-set.  It is not at all uncommon for a man to know almost at the outset, and often when he is really quite young (almost too immature to know his own mind, one would have thought) that this is the woman he intends to marry.  Delve into any of the super-long marriages celebrated in the local newspaper and the husband will say, “I knew immediately this was the woman I wanted to marry.”

I don’t think women go into marriage with the same frame of mind at all.  Most women are incurably romantic in the sense that they visualise the wedding ceremony, the dress, the new signature, the babies, in the aura of every man they date. It may be to a lesser degree with some boyfriends than others, but it’s there.  The potential husband – unconsciously no doubt – is seen as a means to an end.  A means to escape from an uncomfortable dwelling place, loneliness, a boring job etc.  Plus a means to fulfil a biological necessity to bear children and acquire a secure roof over their heads.  While men have the same biological drive to reproduce, marriage as a precursor is not programmed into them as it is with women.

Consequently women go into marriage with the immediate benefits taking up the whole of their vision; men go into it with a vision of the long haul.  No wonder areas of irritation such as the toilet seat being left up, worry women rather than men – that wasn’t part of the vision when they were being fitted for The Dress!

So what is the glue that holds marriage together?  Since for every man who stays married for 40, 50, 60 years, there is a wife who stayed married too.  When one thinks of the upheaval in a couple’s life when babies arrive, it is a miracle that any relationship survives beyond that point.  It speaks volumes for the husbands who, not being so bodily or psychologically involved in the baby-growing process, don’t opt out at that stage.  Women  by that time are fixated wholly on the pregnancy, the birth, the rearing etc – no wonder many husbands feel cut adrift at that point. Marginalised perhaps.  Surplus to requirements.

Which raises the question of loyalty and fidelity.  Not the same by any means.  This may be a difficult concept for many women to grasp, but while some men may be unfaithful to their wives, they remain steadfastly loyal.  Conversely, while most women remain faithful to their husbands, they aren’t always loyal.  Women, while remaining nominally faithful to their man, will think nothing of criticising him behind his back – whether it’s leaving his clothes on the floor or being ‘demanding’ too often when the wife would sooner say ‘no’.  Men – generally speaking – never criticise their wives behind their backs, and are unlikely to discuss their wives even with their close friends.  Yet women feel totally betrayed by a husband’s casual infidelity, usually without acknowledging that there may have been some missing element in their marriage that caused the husband to play away.  In the film, The Women, Meg Ryan features as a betrayed wife.  At one point she is surrounded by 3 indignant and supportive friends, one of whom has the temerity to suggest that the betrayed wife may have played a causative role in the infidelity.  The others howl their derision at such a notion, but perhaps a male scriptwriter saw his chance to give the other side of the story for once.

In a marriage lasting 40, 50 or more years, the couple must encounter every combination of circumstances that test their unity, affection, persistence and loyalty, but still they stay together.  Men are generally enormously devoted and loyal to their wives and get little credit for it.  I hope my young female acquaintance marries such a man, and appreciates him for what he truly is, rather than concentrating on his minor peccadilloes.

 

 

* http://www.zenmoments.org/sweet-lorraine-love-song/

Love is not Time’s Fool – from Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116

The energy of healing

We are taking a different view of ‘nothing’ these days.  Not so many decades ago, a black hole would have been considered ‘nothing’.  Now it is a fascinating field of research for astrophysicists.  A few years back, an atom was considered to be the smallest unit of substance; now it is known  that at the heart of an atom[1]  is space – or nothing.

Is there really nothing there?  If you don’t know anything about modern electronics you would assume that electromagnetic waves were nothing, and ask, like Joanna Lumley is obliged to say in a recent ad for ‘on demand TV’, “How does all that stuff get into my computer?”  In fact when you think about it, computers function on nothing, ie on zeroes.  Apparently, to the ancient Greeks and Romans, zero did not exist; yet modern mathematics and computer science is based entirely on the presumptive existence of nought or zero.

If there is an energy in all these ‘nothings’ why is it difficult to believe in a system of medication or healing that purportedly contains ‘nothing’?  I refer of course to homeopathy and its relation, the Dr Bach remedies.  We are such avid believers of everything we read in the press or on the internet that it is only too easy to find these safe and harmless medicines branded as placebo.  Leaving aside the question of ‘Does a placebo have energy?’ – which it surely must, as any substance, pharmaceutical or otherwise can have a placebo effect – why do we assume that because there is ‘nothing’ in these remedies, that they can’t have an impact on the human psyche and therefore its outer layer, the body?  If a human body consists of atoms and sub-atomic particles, and if the heart of an atom is ‘nothing’ or energy, why is it difficult to believe that the energy in the remedies speaks to the energy  in the human atom?

We are beginning to understand more and more that energy, while it may be intangible and not measurable in many of its forms, is all that there is:  it is the cause and foundation of everything known and unknown.  We are not as stupid as Joanna Lumley’s scriptwriters would have us believe.  Sixty plus years ago we might have asked ‘how does all that get inside a computer?’, but our generation takes that sort of ‘magic’ for granted.

The next step forward for the human race must be to accept, even if we don’t fully understand, that energy rules our entire existence.  We can’t always ‘see’ it or quantify it at this stage, but it will surely happen in the future.  There is a branch of medicine now called psycho-neuro immunology – it’s where your emotions or mental reactions to aspects of your life cause ill-health.  In other words, your mental or emotional energy is adversely affected or not vibrating at an optimum level.  What we need to rectify that, is a system which addresses the resultant dis-ease, not at the physical level but at the energy level.  A system that cures bad energy with good energy. And lo, homeopathy was discovered 200+ years ago, ready for the day when we could accept that only energy can restore energy!

 

 

For more information on the Dr Bach remedies, see  www.bachcentre.com

 

 

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[1] This is not an essay on physics – I understand there are smaller units such as quarks, for those who study these things. 

Ethical dilemmas

      

Haven’t we all watched houses being built on a flood plain and wondered at the cupidity of the developers? 

It is clearly down to greed, indifference to those who will suffer when the floods come, poor research or even the unfailing human ability to hope that the worst will never happen and everything will continue to be fine.

In our position as detached observers, we see the planning application going through – more stupidity or worse on the part of the local council, in order to fulfil its housing quota, plus any benefits that accrue to it – and then the houses being built, which of course brings work to tradesmen and solicitors (so that’s all good then); and finally we see hopeful, happy, relieved families move into their proudest possession.

Then the inevitable happens and the beautiful new homes, someone’s pride and joy, are flooded.  The developers, council, builders and peripheral artisans are not affected.  The only people adversely affected are those who in all innocence bought the house of their dreams.

But don’t we all build our lives on ‘quicksand’ at some stage, or in some aspect or another?  When I first saw the film, ‘The Devil Wears Prada’, I thought it was about the Meryl Streep character being such a poisonous witch, the eponymous devil.  But on the second viewing I realised the truth: people sell their souls to get what they want in life; or what at that point in time they think is the most desirable thing to have.  The would-be journalist in the film, played by Ann Hathaway, eventually pulled back in time, but not before she had committed terrible errors of moral judgement to achieve what she thought was desirable.

Most people probably think they do not sell out to the devil.  But greed, lust, envy and the rest of the 7 deadly sins are in fact all ethical choices we have failed to make correctly.

I had a dream the other night in which I sneered at the stupidity of a supermarket locating its store so close to the sea that the first high tide started to swamp it.  When I woke I realised this was an allegory, a message for me about an aspect of my life.  I am not interested in owning a Prada outfit or a brand new home on a flood plain, and I don’t think I’m greedy; but perhaps we all need to look at our lives sometimes and wonder if we’re really living life as ethically as we had always thought.

 *******

For further reading: “Ancient Wisdom, Modern World: Ethics for the new millennium” by the Dalai Lama.

 

 

Healing Rain

I wrote this poem exactly a year ago so I think it deserves an airing.  I still like it as much now as I did then - which one can't always say for one's creations.  I was thinking a lot about grief at that time - I believe Helen Steiner Rice called it, mourning for the future that will not be.

When you're in mourning, for whatever loss you may be suffering - you may not be aware of your friends and loved ones pouring out their love, but it is falling on your soul nevertheless.  All we can do for others at a time like that is, just pour out love in whatever form we can, whether it's help, prayer or just cake.  We have to do it without any expectation or reaction or even visible success.  But we have to go on doing it, because that is what love does.

I have just read about the woman who started The World Needs More Love Letters in New York.  She was lonely and isolated, and felt others must be the same.  So she took to leaving simple 'love letters' on park benches and on buses hoping that someone in need might spot them.  They were brief, such as 'Don't give up on your dreams'.  Now it has turned into a huge project and the idea is spreading throughout the world.  See more at www.moreloveletters.com.   (With acknowledgement to Positivenews.org.uk)

 

Healing  Rain

I am the rain falling soft on your soul,

falling on your parched lands,
filling up the rivers of your tears.

I am the rain falling in the darkness of your night,
filling your sleep with dreams of hope.
When daylight comes, there will be green shoots.
Through your tears you will see rainbows of glory
for I make all things new.

I will melt your bones

that dried to stone under the torturing sun
and you will be renewed.
I pour out my healing and your soul draws it in.
I am refreshment and re-creation and
my touch is soft on your open palms.

I will wash away all the dust of dispiritment,
baptise your feet and hands, bless your clouded face.
There will be rejoicing and you will learn to smile again.

 

The Legacy of the Socks

It’s strange how the smallest action, even one that seems quite personal to ourselves, can have such an unexpected impact.

An elderly neighbour of mine had a thing about his feet.  It was of no interest or concern to anyone else, but  he was almost obsessive about keeping his feet clean.  Perhaps it was a side effect of having worn army boots for many years.  Apart from washing his feet every day – I’ve never seen such pink plump feet on anyone other than a baby – he was paranoiac about fresh socks, to the extent that he wouldn’t wash his socks alongside anything else: they had to go in the washing machine by themselves. 

So it came as no surprise  really, to find when he died, that he had 25 pairs of brand new socks that were still in their packets, plus another 18 pairs that were as good as new.

It seemed such a waste to throw them away.  Luckily the Salvation Army soup kitchen in Bournemouth was only too grateful to have them, as every night they would have homeless and poor people turn up without socks or other basic clothing.   On occasion, the organisers had removed their own socks and given them out.  Now  43 of the local homeless benefitted unexpectedly from the passion of one stranger.

If something as trivial and personal as a hygiene obsession can have such unexpected effects, what about our everyday words and actions?  Our thoughts and intentions?  Often we don’t see the impact that these create, whether it’s holding a door open for a young woman struggling with a pushchair; or being rude to a traffic warden.  Our smallest action sends ripples out into the world, for better or worse.  No wonder it is said that God sees even a sparrow fall.  To me, that means no action goes unnoticed, each carries its own energy out into the world at large.  Love, like God, is not blind but all-seeing.  We may be blind to what we do but love is not: Love sees the ripples before the stone is cast.